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Tuesday, 30 April 2013

Breakups



I've always wondered what is so bad about breakups? Why make such a big deal out of it? Not that I haven't had my fair share of breakups. Oh I have had them and they were painful but what is it that weighs us down and makes every morning bleak and despondent?

A 'Breakup' is a word for when two people are no longer compatible with one another. People change and this happens. But,breakups bring about a change in our lives - parting with someone so close: someone who has known and who we have known so intimately and that is what really makes them painful. So, we mourn. Just like we would mourn a physical loss, we mourn the loss of an emotional relationship. We fight the emptiness the departure creates and I have done it too.

It is only the 'after' breakup that makes the breakups a big deal. A while ago, just after my breakup, a fellow friend told me that she had heard that the only reason my boyfriend and I had broken up was because "He didn't want to anymore." Now, my boyfriend...now ex...anyway, we had already talked about 'why' we were parting ways and that was definitely NOT the reason he gave me. [P.S. I was unwilling to part but his concerns were genuine.] You must be all thinking - "So what? Don't believe her? What does she know?" I did too...for the first few days. Slowly, the depression started sinking in, the insecurities surfaced. What if this really was the reason? He didn't want to. The bitterness had been created.

Little rumours; little truths; little insecurities play a huge part in making what is a perfectly normal separation, a   painful and bitter "breakup". There's not a single day that goes by when I don't think about him and it hurts. The wound, the emptiness, the hole...they hurt. "George Bernard Shaw once wrote: 'There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your hearts desire, the other is to gain it.'...Clearly Shaw had his heart broken once or twice...you know what? Tragedies happen. What are you gonna do? Give up? Quit? No. I realise now that when your heart breaks you gotta fight like hell to make sure you're still alive. Because you are and that pain you feel, that's life. And the confusion and fear, that's there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better and that something is worth fighting for."



Till then, that's it. #feelbetter #keepreading

P.S: Leave a comment to tell me how you felt about this update. #lotsoflavh