Shyness and Other Such Antisocial Behaviour

Definition: Contrary to what most people think, an introvert is not simply a person who is shy. In fact, being shy has little to do with being an introvert! Shyness has an element of apprehension, nervousness and anxiety, and while an introvert may also be shy, introversion itself is not shyness. Basically, an introvert is a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people. - more at +About.com

So yeah, like this is a huge discussion nowadays which before we delve into I must confess that I am an introvert. Not that should come as a surprise in terms of they type of antisocial things I talk about in this blog. Technically, just because I am an introvert doesn't mean I am antisocial and in all honesty, I am not antisocial.

I like to meet people; party; go out as much as the next guy. In fact, I probably go out more than my friends who are all surprisingly social and extroverts of the highest order. I love to go out. I love to travel. I like to attend social events (read: lame school parties) often. I don't have social anxiety. I don't hate everyone (just the incredibly stupid ones...okay everyone). And most importantly, I do not always wish to be alone.

Instead, after attending a party, I like to spend the next day in a less stressful manner maybe sleeping, or reading, watching TV and all things of that sort. Yes, like an extrovert I don't like to party everyday. I find that incredibly exhausting. I like to talk to people but not, small talk. I like to have witty or meaningful (or utterly meaningless) conversations. And that's that.

Being an introvert certainly doesn't mean that I want to hide under the blanket everytime someone looks at me. It means, I want to be the centre of attention all night and then I need about a week to recover from the effort. Honestly, that's all.

Breakups

I've always wondered what is so bad about breakups? Why make such a big deal out of it? Not that I haven't had my fair share of breakups. Oh I have had them and they were painful but what is it that weighs us down and makes every morning bleak and despondent?

A 'Breakup' is a word for when two people are no longer compatible with one another. People change and this happens. But,breakups bring about a change in our lives - parting with someone so close: someone who has known and who we have known so intimately and that is what really makes them painful. So, we mourn. Just like we would mourn a physical loss, we mourn the loss of an emotional relationship. We fight the emptiness the departure creates and I have done it too.

It is only the 'after' breakup that makes the breakups a big deal. A while ago, just after my breakup, a fellow friend told me that she had heard that the only reason my boyfriend and I had broken up was because "He didn't want to anymore." Now, my boyfriend...now ex...anyway, we had already talked about 'why' we were parting ways and that was definitely NOT the reason he gave me. [P.S. I was unwilling to part but his concerns were genuine.] You must be all thinking - "So what? Don't believe her? What does she know?" I did too...for the first few days. Slowly, the depression started sinking in, the insecurities surfaced. What if this really was the reason? He didn't want to. The bitterness had been created.

Little rumours; little truths; little insecurities play a huge part in making what is a perfectly normal separation, a   painful and bitter "breakup". There's not a single day that goes by when I don't think about him and it hurts. The wound, the emptiness, the hole...they hurt. "George Bernard Shaw once wrote: 'There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your hearts desire, the other is to gain it.'...Clearly Shaw had his heart broken once or twice...you know what? Tragedies happen. What are you gonna do? Give up? Quit? No. I realise now that when your heart breaks you gotta fight like hell to make sure you're still alive. Because you are and that pain you feel, that's life. And the confusion and fear, that's there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better and that something is worth fighting for."



Till then, that's it. #feelbetter #keepreading

P.S: Leave a comment to tell me how you felt about this update. #lotsoflavh

Baby, don't go : Best Friends Forever

Does it really exist anymore? Best friends...forever? I don't be a pessimist but I really haven't seen two friends keep together long enough for it to even remotely be forever. No one. I suppose its because our concept of 'best friends' is faulty. And because we think things never change. As Peyton [One Tree Hill] says: People Always Leave. Its because we can't accept who've they've changed into. Change isn't necessarily bad just different; its just evolution. Plus, no matter how stagnant you consider yourself...you change. Every year; Every month; Every day; Every hour; Every minute you evolve into someone different. Not always completely just a little. 

Now, back to our concept of 'best friends'...

Ask yourself truly...WHO is a best friend? It would of course be best that you don't base your answer on the memes and photos circulate on the internet. They basically make it important for you best friend to be crazy like you making witty jokes and punching other people for you, which too an extent may be true. However, I feel that a best friend is a friend who listens. I think we all lack that one friend that truly LISTENS. Not just about boys and clothes but about your greatest fears and strengths, your dreams and your weaknesses, your expectations and your reality. 

It doesn't mean that you best friend has to give you some revolutionary advice that no one else had given because contrary to popular belief, being a best friend doesn't make a person a genius in matters of the world that eluded them previously. Nor does it have the same effect on you. But if you jut stood there and listened without becoming distracted or turning the topic to yourself....if you've genuinely listened, you're my best friend. I don't want to expect much because its wrong to expect things from others. We form all these expectations and when they don't occur in reality, we get upset. However, if we're not mind readers, every body has different ideas so how do we expect anyone to actually fulfill our desires.

My suggestion, hold your friend close, till you squeeze them of air but never judge them for change, because change is inevitable. Till then #keep reading. #lotsalove #keeprollin'



P.S: Leave a comment to tell me how you felt about this update. #lotsoflavh