Sometimes, everyone just needs some distance...

Sometimes, everyone just needs some distance...

I realise I might not be putting up any posts but I just can't. I have my end of school exams and I have absolutely no time to entertain you guys right now. But, I will...(I also realise that it grammatically incorrect to start a sentence with 'but', but what the heck). Having said that, I was feeling kind of conflicted today and one of my closest friends updated a blog post and that gave me the idea to write a post too. So, here I am...

I gave an online test, which was not really a test but a sort of quiz that judges your personality on the basis of a couple of questions. It seemed pretty accurate. It told me that I was halfway between an Extrovert and an Introvert, which I had realised a couple of times in the past. I love my friends and their company and I love socials but, I'm not a fan of hanging out everyday and sometimes, I like to sit back and read through a good book. I have a couple of really close friends but the problem is, I don't know if we really are best friends.

It used to be a big group of about ten people and slowly, people starting leaving and changing and before we knew it, it was just the five of us. Don't get me wrong, I prefer us now but, sometimes I wonder if all of us are really friends or just...just pretending to be. It's great in movies and soaps and books, you eventually figure out who your 'true' friends are but in real life, and you have probably figured, it's not that easy. I don't think they know who I am. I share their interests and everything but sometimes, I feel like they just don't get me. Honestly, it's just a feeling and I have no proof whatsoever...but, it just feels so.

Some say school friends last for life because they are they only ones who are with you when you grow into the person you are. They are the only ones who don't become friends with you for who you are or what your job is or how much you earn. I've been with them long enough but, I wonder- will it last? I feel this strange sort of unease. I wish we could really be the How I Met Your Mother of real life but when, Barney's brother asked Robin, "Do you think your relationship is so fragile?", she said " I don't want to find out." And honestly, neither do I. And then sometimes I feel I do...do they really care about me? Any advice, anyone?

Thanks for reading
That's all folks!
Au revoir..

Breakups

I've always wondered what is so bad about breakups? Why make such a big deal out of it? Not that I haven't had my fair share of breakups. Oh I have had them and they were painful but what is it that weighs us down and makes every morning bleak and despondent?

A 'Breakup' is a word for when two people are no longer compatible with one another. People change and this happens. But,breakups bring about a change in our lives - parting with someone so close: someone who has known and who we have known so intimately and that is what really makes them painful. So, we mourn. Just like we would mourn a physical loss, we mourn the loss of an emotional relationship. We fight the emptiness the departure creates and I have done it too.

It is only the 'after' breakup that makes the breakups a big deal. A while ago, just after my breakup, a fellow friend told me that she had heard that the only reason my boyfriend and I had broken up was because "He didn't want to anymore." Now, my boyfriend...now ex...anyway, we had already talked about 'why' we were parting ways and that was definitely NOT the reason he gave me. [P.S. I was unwilling to part but his concerns were genuine.] You must be all thinking - "So what? Don't believe her? What does she know?" I did too...for the first few days. Slowly, the depression started sinking in, the insecurities surfaced. What if this really was the reason? He didn't want to. The bitterness had been created.

Little rumours; little truths; little insecurities play a huge part in making what is a perfectly normal separation, a   painful and bitter "breakup". There's not a single day that goes by when I don't think about him and it hurts. The wound, the emptiness, the hole...they hurt. "George Bernard Shaw once wrote: 'There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your hearts desire, the other is to gain it.'...Clearly Shaw had his heart broken once or twice...you know what? Tragedies happen. What are you gonna do? Give up? Quit? No. I realise now that when your heart breaks you gotta fight like hell to make sure you're still alive. Because you are and that pain you feel, that's life. And the confusion and fear, that's there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better and that something is worth fighting for."



Till then, that's it. #feelbetter #keepreading

P.S: Leave a comment to tell me how you felt about this update. #lotsoflavh

Baby, don't go : Best Friends Forever

Does it really exist anymore? Best friends...forever? I don't be a pessimist but I really haven't seen two friends keep together long enough for it to even remotely be forever. No one. I suppose its because our concept of 'best friends' is faulty. And because we think things never change. As Peyton [One Tree Hill] says: People Always Leave. Its because we can't accept who've they've changed into. Change isn't necessarily bad just different; its just evolution. Plus, no matter how stagnant you consider yourself...you change. Every year; Every month; Every day; Every hour; Every minute you evolve into someone different. Not always completely just a little. 

Now, back to our concept of 'best friends'...

Ask yourself truly...WHO is a best friend? It would of course be best that you don't base your answer on the memes and photos circulate on the internet. They basically make it important for you best friend to be crazy like you making witty jokes and punching other people for you, which too an extent may be true. However, I feel that a best friend is a friend who listens. I think we all lack that one friend that truly LISTENS. Not just about boys and clothes but about your greatest fears and strengths, your dreams and your weaknesses, your expectations and your reality. 

It doesn't mean that you best friend has to give you some revolutionary advice that no one else had given because contrary to popular belief, being a best friend doesn't make a person a genius in matters of the world that eluded them previously. Nor does it have the same effect on you. But if you jut stood there and listened without becoming distracted or turning the topic to yourself....if you've genuinely listened, you're my best friend. I don't want to expect much because its wrong to expect things from others. We form all these expectations and when they don't occur in reality, we get upset. However, if we're not mind readers, every body has different ideas so how do we expect anyone to actually fulfill our desires.

My suggestion, hold your friend close, till you squeeze them of air but never judge them for change, because change is inevitable. Till then #keep reading. #lotsalove #keeprollin'



P.S: Leave a comment to tell me how you felt about this update. #lotsoflavh